Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Why Not Wednesday

So, I thought Id follow suit, seems Wednesday is THE day for a theme, all the cool kids are doin it ;)!!

And I realize its almost not Wedneday anymore, but Ive had a long wonderful day, and Im just now getting time...

So Why not Wednesday, why not tell me about your craziest dream ever!! Ill start, and its a wacked out story lemme just say...

So I was at the tail end of 6 day meth high, we were staying in a hotel, we hadn't had a place to live in a few weeks, my parents had kicked us out of their rental since we hadn't paid our rent in quite some time. We were planning to head out of town to live with dh's dad in PA-I think we were planning to clean up, but we were tweaking out at the local casino for a few days first and we had managed to win enough to fund an 8 ball, that's 1/8 of an ounce and around $250 in case you were wondering, and pay for the hotel room for the week. So like I said I was coming down off a 6 day high when I started dreaming...

A man was after me in my hotel room, he was going to kill me, I jumped up and started running and screaming as loud as I could only no one could hear me cause I was all alone in the hotel. I get to the door and I try to get out to run, but the damn door wont open, Im going to die, Im screaming and then someone is shaking me, I look up its my boyfriend (now dh) and he is saying wake up wake up your only dreaming....

Im not sure I have ever been that afraid in my life, it was so real, I was so sure I was about to die. Turns out I was so tired that I couldn't wake up but I got up in my dream and started screaming at the top of my lungs and running away from dh. He was so freaked out, he had been asleep, woke up to all this, didn't know at first what my deal was and at the same time didn't know what to do, someone might hear me and come to help, I as yelling "get away from me get away from me" and there was 3 foot bong in the drawer and other various paraphernalia, not to mention just a bit of the ball left. Thankfully, at least I thought so then, no one heard me and I went back to sleep for the next 24 hours with no more waking dreams!!

One more....

When I was pregnant with dd #1 I was newly clean of drugs, had been about 3 months since I cleaned up when I got pregnant. But we lived in a small town and a lot of people around were using, it was nerve racking. I recall one time I sat up in bed, heart pounding, I had been dreaming that Id started to get high again and that my stomach collapsed all around the baby, she couldn't breath and was stretching out through my stomach like it was some sort of ultra stretchy plastic, I could see all of her features and I could see she was in agony. If I hadn't already know it by that point, and I really I knew the minute I realized I was pregnant, I knew at that moment I would never be tempted to use again. Its been 9 years since I quit :)

3 comments:

~teachmom~ said...

Cyndee,
I can definently see why God gave you your Ana! :)
Dreams...I have always had the recurring dream of a T-Rex chasing me & whomever(it changes) all over town. It's basically the same dream...just different dimensions and whatnot. I call it my "stress dream," as I have it once or twice annually, when I am stressed for whatever reason. I have had it since I was Fancy Pants' age.
Dreams are funny things. Insightful sometimes, too.

:)

I am so glad you had a great day! :) One day at a time, right?

Polly Wolly said...

Cyndee...your dreams would freak me out, too!

It's funny, I usually remember most of my dreams...but there are some that have stuck with me for awhile...maybe it's because I have one that recurs (and is kind of similar to Amy's!)..

In the recurring one, I'm about eight years old. I am hiding behind a couch in a friend's house. There's a loud thundering that keeps getting closer. Then, as I look up through the curtains, I see this huge dinosaur eye looking at me--and I freeze. Then, the dream switches to me looking at the side of a mountain, with dusty roads/paths spiraling up..with monks dressed in white robes traveling to the top...and then it switches back to the dinosaur eye and the terror that I feel. The dinosaur dream recurs in the same way, but sometimes I am in the current home in which I live...and I'm 38, not 8. I've had this one since I was small. I never liked dinosaurs as a child, yet watched "Land of the Lost" every Saturday morning. Most of my nightmares were about dinosaurs.

The other crazy one that sticks with me is about my mom being outside a spooky old house with an ax in her face~and somehow I was responsible for the axe being there...

~teachmom~ said...

POlly, how wierd! My dh thinks it's because I used to watch that show, too! I like watching Dinosaur movies; I like watching things that scare me, LOL, and Fancy Pants takes after me in that respect (I keep her from watching certain movies and such, but dh let her watch Poltergeist once...(could have killed him for that one!). Thankfully she didn't have any nightmares!
Anyways, off-topic, but I do think our dreams/nightmares are a cross between what we're going through emotionally and what we watch/put in our minds throughout the day.